I have CDO. It is like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be!!!
For my legacy I want to hold the title of the World’s Oldest Man!
What’s another word for Thesaurus?
No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.
Dear Santa, this year give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don’t mix them up like you did last year.
“I said I have a can-do attitude…I never said I had a will-do attitude.”
If there was a Pessimist Award, I doubt if I could win it.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief.”
Sometimes the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road you put the stuff.
Someone told me that the word “gullible” is not in the dictionary. I said, “Really?”
Someone showed me how static electricity worked today. I was shocked.
You know you are getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate, which is kinda the same thing.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” A little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
I changed all my passwords to “incorrect” That way if I forget my computer will tell me.
“Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”
The speed of time is one second per second.
I don’t like to brag, but I have a tie from my teens and it still fits.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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